Honeytrap
Good Vibrator
[4.58]
(Words and Music by David Fisher)

Good Vibrator – Good Vibrator

I’m just looking for a Good Vibrator
A modern lover with a gypsy soul
No drama queen or calculator
Cat-fighting on the greasy pole
A sharp dresser who can prick my pie-crust
A touch cookie who can spice my bread
A cute hippie chick to kick the stardust
Collecting underneath my empty bed

Good Vibrator – Good Vibrator

I’m just looking for a Good Vibrator
A Prime Mover with a human face
No underhand manipulator
Cheap model playing kiss-and-chase

Don’t want no suicidal born-again redeemer
No white-washed virgin bridal schemer – No Sir!

I’m just looking for a Good Vibrator
A Happy Hooker with a heart of gold
No femme fatale or terminator
Man-hater blowing hot and cold
A transister who can jam my wavelength
A bright starlet who can fade my blues
A sweet Wonder Kid to test my patience
Some bad angel who can dance “The Red Shoes”

Don’t need no medicated Cosmo S.C.U.M. agenda
No New Age park-and-ride defender – No Sir!

History shows that looks can be deceiving
A simple glance tells more than words can say
I’m gonna scan the lonely hearts this evening
Perhaps she’ll advertise herself today

Good Vibrator – Good Vibrator...

Musicians:

  • David Fisher – Vocals, Electric Piano, Keyboards, Electric Baritone Guitar, Acoustic Guitar, Drums, Theremin, Percussion, Backing Vocals, Vocoder, Horn
  • Chris Watts – Electric Guitar, Backing Vocals
  • Peter Watts – 12-String Electric Guitar, Ukelele, Banjo, Backing Vocals, Electric Baritone Guitar
  • Tiv – Bass
  • Martin Gregory – Tambourine, Sleigh Bells
  • Alan Cannings – Backing Vocals
  • Matt Byrne – Backing Vocals
  • Vicki Workman – Backing Vocals

Production:

Produced by David Fisher at Summerisle in Carshalton Beeches, UK
Some backing vocals recorded at Spygenius HQ in Ramsgate, UK

Notes:

Thanks must go to Guy Watson whose shuffle beat during a jam inspired the music for this song. The song was written on a guitar tuned to open G tuning. The arrangement owes a large debt to the Beach Boys and features gorgeous harmonic backing vocals from Spygenius.

70's lyrical references abound - Xaviera Hollander's bestselling "Happy Hooker" novel, Valerie Solanas' extreme analysis of male/female relations in the S.C.U.M. (Society For Cutting Up Men) manifesto, which seems to have influenced the writers (in a much watered down version) of Cosmopolitan Magazine in the late 70's to early 80's. The chilling document deserves a read if only for comic value http://www.womynkind.org/scum.htm

There is probably much in this song to annoy radical feminists who might argue that it is packed with patronising and demeaning vernacular but that wasn't my intention (I was eagerly reading The Female Eunuch when I was about 12). It's just a tongue-in-cheek story about a lonely man applying to a dating agency. And believe it or not "Good Vibrator" was only ever meant to mean "person who gives out good vibes" and had no sexual connotations - read it in context.